Finding a Healthy (Food) Balance

I know the most important thing for me to do right now is to concentrate on the quality of the food I let slip by my lips. I'm not supposed to sweat the little mistakes, like an extra 200 calories one day... however; going out to dinner with my family is nightmarish.

I have a hard time relaxing when we decide to go out for a meal. I really want to find a healthy restaurant to visit. I live in fear that I won't be able to calculate exactly how many calories I'm getting, that I'll overdo it, and that I'll be starving by the time dinner arrives. (I tend to want to consume large quantities quickly when I'm hungry.)

To further complicate things, nobody else wants to eat healthy. They want greasy, salty, deep fried, creamy, and dense. They don't want a small handful of lean meat with 4 cups of veges. Skip the water and the fresh fruit. They want an extra humongous, high fructose sweetened, artificially flavored and colored, bubbly soft drink with their meal and of course dessert.
I usually win the battle, but I have to pay the price. I get a lot of "Can I have" and "They don't have anything I like" and "Pretty please please please".

Tonight I gave in and went to a place where you pick out your own meats and veges. You pile everything in your bowl(s) and add some oils and other liquids. You stand in line and some guy (how come it's never a gal, anyway?) grabs your bowl(s), throws them on the communal grill and cooks them all at once.

The various liquids that I add are never enough seasoning for me, so I end up pulling out the plum sauce, adding it to my plate and... VIOLA! I'm eating 200 or 300 calories more than I wanted. Of course, I have to have that little serving of soft serve ice cream that comes with the meal.

I feel terrible and I'm the only one around here willing to try to talk myself out of feeling guilty. I look back at what I ate the for the last 4 days. I realize that I've made a trade-off. Today I made up for the one day early this week that I ate 300 or 400 calories less than I needed.

Changing eating habits for good is a slow process. If I didn't keep track of what I ate everyday, I couldn't even point myself in the right direction. Someday, I hope to unplug myself from my food diary and intuitively navigate this food maze.